Excerpts from
Heere Bigynneth the Tale of the Asse-Hatte.
By Iowahawk, with apologies to Geoffrey Chaucer
…
The Bishop sipped upon hys tea
And sayed, “an open mind must we
Keep, for know thee well the Mussel-man
Has hys own laws for hys own clan
So question not hys Muslim reason
And presaerve ye well social cohesion.”
…
Sayed the Bishop, “that’s quyte impressyve
To crafte a Jesus so transgressyve
But to do so with the Muslim Prophet
Doomed thy neck to lose whats off it.
Thou should have showen mor chivalrie
In committynge such a blasphemie.”
…
The pilgryms shuffled for the door
To face the rule of the Moor;
Poets, Professors, Starbucks workers
Donning turbans, veils and burqqas.
The Bishop sipped upon hys tea
And sayed, “an open mind must we
Keep, for know thee well the Mussel-man
Has hys own laws for hys own clan
So question not hys Muslim reason
And presaerve ye well social cohesion.”
…
Sayed the Bishop, “that’s quyte impressyve
To crafte a Jesus so transgressyve
But to do so with the Muslim Prophet
Doomed thy neck to lose whats off it.
Thou should have showen mor chivalrie
In committynge such a blasphemie.”
…
The pilgryms shuffled for the door
To face the rule of the Moor;
Poets, Professors, Starbucks workers
Donning turbans, veils and burqqas.
As they face theyr fynal curtan
Of Englande folk, one thynge is certan:
Dying by theyr own thousande cuts,
The Englande folk are folking nuts.
…
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